It's been a month since I posted last,due to the lack of motivation and drive I have been struggling with. I have a clear view and somewhat more realistic out  look on things now and realize how much my psychological and physical health were being drained. I am beginning to feel strong again and more confident but my level of patience is somewhat less. Yet there is a long road that lays ahead ,but I do have hope and for the first time in many years can visualize myself clean. I cannot tell you it has not been without a great deal of physical and emotional pain and struggle that I have had to reason my way through. It is not something I think I could have done without the support of my family. I will forever be humbled and grateful for their support throughout this decade of insanity. I have found that support groups ,for now, are not for me.As the moment conversation begins about the use of meth I have a flood of thoughts to rationalize and justify a relapse. So for now I will remain separated from the outside as best I can.
To anyone reading these words and suffering with this affliction I would say,"YOU CAN COME THIS FAR BECAUSE I HAVE,NOW THAT I AM HERE I SEE THAT IT IS BETTER TO BE FREE THAN IN THE CHAINS OF THE GREAT PUPPET MASTER."