Not so happy holidays

Ever have that feeling that you've forgotten something or something has gone wrong? Apparently our brains normally produce natural chemicals that make us feel good. when we do something worth-while or good the chemical production increases and we get a boost of "good feelings". After prolonged use of drugs the brain has stopped producing the chemicals and when the drug is not there you are slammed into a state of hopelessness. Depressed,anxious,extremely emotional,and sometimes violent or angry personality traits are amplified. This is one of the hardest factors to deal with if you are a spouse and/or parent. We have huge affects on our family members. I've wandered in and out of recovery several times when i have caught myself being"short tempered with my loved ones". The lack of joy or ability to feel joy is an ugly state for small children to view. Add the guilt of realization and the hole gets deeper. This viscous cycle can and will envelope your existence. As I struggle down this road the cold hard truth becomes more and more evident; I will never be the same.